DISCLAIMER: THIS ARTICLE IS NOT INTENDED FOR READERS UNDER THE AGE OF 18 YEARS OF AGE, OLD. IT IS SUPREMELY HORNY.

there comes a moment in every ones life when you’re sitting and watching the ninth season of a tv show and two characters haven’t fucked yet that you maybe decide to “throw it all away” and by that i mean turn off the tv. ever since people realized we didn’t actually care about mulder or scully if they fucked the onus of television writers has been to keep characters apart from each other for as long as possible.

this pops up in novels too – a strong love triangle builds the situation for a lot of different stories across once again novels, but also every other type of storytelling ever. maybe that old philsopher guy was wrong, and the only two types of stories are either about people who are or aren’t gonna fuck.

maybe what really made me sick to my stomach was the way comic book companies would keep trying to sell us Lois Lane and Superman over and over again. we already knew they were supposed to be married and even the nerds holding sticks and raving about how they need to at least prop up one hetero-normative relationship might have been slightly right about this one (or spider man and mary jane, or dick grayson and starfire, or midnighter and apollo, wait…) but the thing is comic books have a holdout against relationships because comic books aren’t really mature-or-immature enough to deal with the delicate subject of two characters enjoying sleeping with eachother.

there’s more to a relationship then that, of course. relationships involve gifts and exchanges and holding someone’s head on your shoulder while they sob over something you can’t help them fix, but maybe you can listen to while you just wanna watch an episode of Cheers. relationships are about awkward meetings between families and maybe a little more than that. i wouldn’t know!

comics can only imply so much though because they’re meant to be bought by just about anyone who has the money to put down for them. what i got tired of is comics trying to re-sell me – if it wasn’t another love triangle between star crossed lovers or the long draw of a good “will they or wont they” story it was more implied sex between people who were supposed to love eachother.

we get that actors job isn’t to pretend to like each other enough to kiss or touch each other but that’s why we don’t watch a lot of romance related television. even in comics though, romance is informed a lot by how it’s written and how it appears on late night television. a lot of going back to hotel rooms and waking up the morning after. sex can either be a joke or a moment afterwards where two characters realize how much they’ve either made the right decision or fucked up.

this whole love-affair with hentai thing started as a huge joke, but there was kind of a double down at some point. there’s certainly a lot of long-running hentai that goes for dozens of chapters that includes both characters hanging out and characters hanging out. there’s kind of a hope when you read a lot of hentai this way that at some point a story is going to pass being made purely for titillation and have something worth sharing it.

regular comics pitch a lot of series where people are defined by their relationships to sex but never show it. SEX CRIMINALS is one of those where the central joke of the premise is on fucking to stop time. it’s a pitch that works well in a comic because you can stare at a panel as long as you want.

most western comics treat sex the same way – as something to be disturbed or confused by. the western sex comic scene is growing online (and has been for years) but hasn’t reached the kind of mass that the Hentai world has yet besides a few notable superstar artists and their propensity to delve into fetish work. there’s certainly a lot of sex-positive works out there but i am not specifically looking for something sex positive. 

a lot of hentai, if not all of it is written and drawn purely for the sake of titillation. traditionally to the outsider it’s yaoi series that have the stronger emotional arcs, but the term for general hentai is vanilla. like the fragrance or the flavor, vanilla is meant to evoke a warm and familiar, if bland reaction in the person exposed to it. if people fucked in most TV shows (for real) they would probably be in vanilla stories. 

if DEEP-HELL can find anything worth sharing we’ll share it with you first. maybe that’s some kind of naivety speaking, but there’s got to be a story out there that can