DISCLAIMER: you can support us on Patreon.com/DEEPHELL. We’re trying to be committed in 2022 to never pay a Freelancer less than 100$. Help us hit that goal so we can bring more writers on, and help foster excellent criticism in the world of VIDEOGAMES. There is a world burning underneath our dreams where wicked assassins…
SAM̜̋Ų͙̝̌͞͠S̡͊ ͉̅A̡̨̜̦͕͚̗͉̫̾̋̑͛̄̑͑̈́̐R̫̰̳͇̻̠͚͕̣̳̒̋̇̓͋͑̋͒͋̇͟͡Ä͎̟͔͚̥͓̙̬̖̩̽́̔͆̀͒̎̚͘͘͜N͕̭̘͇̬̭̯̯̜̑̈́̈́̀͛̄̚̕͢͝͡͝ͅ
for part one of this article, go here: SAMUS ARAN – DEEP HELL (deep-hell.com) Seems like only yesterday it was 2015 and the news first broke: everyone collectively rejoiced, Samus Aran was a queer icon. The internet (and all of those big leftist Facebook groups that swell and convulse, everyone swinging knives at each other)…
SAMUS ARAN
Before collecting every character you ever wanted for a dusty shelf, I had a covetous need to own Samus Aran. Before the often incredibly designed and photogenic figma, there was a single figure of the character made by Joyride studios that I’m not even sure could stand up on its own. I was hunting after…
I’M THINKIN ARBY’S
Full of blood and a suspicious combat cocktail. The purest arbiter against depression is action, and boy, the only action I wanna take is going to fucking work. Work makes me happy: it’s where I see my friends. I am so happy when I go to work. There’s no rush like clocking in and knowing…
NEVER FIGHT A MAN WITH A PERM
YOU KNOW I’m almost a specific age that implies a downward slope. I can’t for the life of me picture what age this is. For some people it’s 25, 30, others: 45 years exactly. Whatever the case: I reckon with a body built by my choices every day. A long time ago I would surround…
MY LIFE FOR NERZHUL
“In a statement, Blizzard Entertainment said Blizzard North co-founders Erich Schaefer, Max Schaefer and David Brevik, along with a fourth employee, Bill Roper, ‘resigned from the company to pursue other opportunities.’” – Yahoo News (dead link), 2003 When the creators of Diablo left Blizzard in 2003, it was reported on that it was due to…
THE FIVE WORST GAMES TO HAVE SEX IN
DISCLAIMER: the following content is meant for The Bedroom. THE LIST is the most hallowed form of internet content. Far from the lowest-common-denominator appeal we think of it today: the list was once the most exciting part of the internet. You’d pay once a month to some small cable provider or internet service. A website…
BELIEVABLE FUTURES
by Bryn Gelbart for Deep-Hell.Com The best way to tell a story about the present is to write one about the future. Reality is all too real to say anything actually meaningful about the human condition. Real life is complicated. It requires lawyers. It requires, if you are writing an Oscar winning screenplay, making…
IN THE LAND OF ENDLESS GREED
text by No Escape In The Land of Endless Greed CW: Sexual assault and harassment mention Lately I’ve been seeing a meme spread Online with greater prolificity every day. It’s a slogan over some glitchy visuals, makes for a real good bumper sticker: I want shorter games with worse graphics made by people who were…
2021 HORROSCOPE
This is a new edition of last years “What your favorite game of 2019 said about you.” It is shorter, but we hope you appreciate a few jokes and some fun art. Thanks! It can be found on ITCH.IO